Encouragement for Homeschool Moms

I need this post more than anyone else, so here goes:  

What You Shouldn't Be Discouraged By:  

Your Own Expectations. It might be the way you thought you'd look. It might be the kind of social life you thought you'd have. It might be zero screen-time and all wooden/organic/natural toys. I think the most silly and unrealistic expectation I have is my house. Somewhere in the back of my mind I pictured us living in a little brick mansion with an old stone fence and a garden in the backyard. The inside would be pristine and the cookies would be from scratch, with nary a laundry pile or Ikea product to be found. This ridiculous vision of domesticity is behind all sorts of guilty, discontented and otherwise useless thoughts that bring me down day after day.

The Solution: Expectations are a drag; realistic goals are much more useful. If you're not happy about your body, your schedule, your house, your job, your finances - make a plan and do a little something about it every day. It's not glamorous but it's a whole lot more likely to actually change your life.  

Other People's Expectations. Your parents, your in-laws, your friends who are sending their kids to school, even your husband will have some picture in their minds for what your homeschool should look like. Don't buy into it. Saying the pledge of allegiance every morning in your primary-colored school room might work for some people, but for most of us homeschooling looks a lot less formal.

The Solution: When it comes to other parents, like your friends who are raising kids or your own parents, often times your decision to do something differently is interpreted as a judgment of their own choices. If you're trying to convince your friends to homeschool their own kids and they are open to hearing about it, then by all means tell them how great it is. If they aren't open to the idea, shelve it for now. No one wants to hear how they're ruining their kids' lives with public school. Likewise your parents don't really need to know how inferior you think their choices were; instead of talking about what you hated about your education emphasize the pros of homeschooling and all the new (emphasis on new) resources out there. If your spouse is, um, surprised at the stacks of books on the table or the piles of unfolded laundry, the best advice I have is to swap it up. The next vacation week he has, let him take a day or two and try to do what you do. I've seriously done this and guess what? My husband knows how hard my job is and appreciates that he gets to go to work! Whatever other people think or say, make sure you don't let other people's low expectations of what you or your kids can do affect what you do or how you perceive your homeschool.  

Money. I saved up pretty much all our discretionary income for two months, and the other night I spent it all on school stuff for Henry, my not-yet three-year-old. I have to admit, placing the orders for this stuff stressed me out. It was a big commitment. I'm worried about spending too much for stuff, about not choosing the right things, and about, oddly enough, not spending enough. We are living on one income, and paying taxes for the school system but not using resources from the public school in return. This hurts sometimes. Maybe you have lots of kids, or one or one and a half incomes, or the economy sucks. Whatever it is, figuring out how to use the money you have to provide your kids with the best possible education is difficult and stressful sometimes.

The Solution: Being poor doesn't mean you can't give your kids a great education. That said, don't feel weird about sacrificing less important stuff so that you can afford the resources you really need. We've never paid for cable (actually not totally true, we had it for the three months we were studying for the bar so the babysitter could watch TV), I haven't bought myself new shoes in two years and we have limited eating out and traveling so that we can afford the lifestyle we've chosen. Get out of the deprivation mindset and look at allocating your financial resources like you're playing a game. Ask "How can we limit spending on things we don't really care about and focus our money on the things we really need or want?" Then, stop comparing what you have to others who have more. If you need to, compare yourself to those who have less and praise God for how rich you are.

  "Wasting" Your Time. I think this is something all SAHM's face from time to time. We put aside the degrees, the careers, all those things we used to get praise and money for excelling at. (Yes I end sentences in prepositions, no my kids will not be idiots because I'm their teacher). We give up alot to do a job that society does not value. So is being "just" a mom a waste of our gifts?

The Solution: Maybe, for you it might be. Ask yourself this: what do you want to do, honestly? Forget what anyone else thinks. Are you happier at home or outside the home? I can honestly say that working makes me proud, fulfilled, cranky, mentally tired and stressed out. Being home makes me happy, relaxed, and physically tired. It's clear to me that I prefer to be home. My mom wanted to work, and she did, and I am fine. Your kids will also be fine if you want to work. But choosing to stay home, while usually less lucrative than working, is not a waste of your time, as long as you don't waste your time at home. What does this mean? It means you're the mom, not the babysitter. Take advantage of the time you have, think of it as a real job in which you have the opportunity to excel. Pray about how to do it better and prioritize the most important things. Just because the world may not value this job doesn't mean it's not valuable.  

Not Doing a Good Enough Job. Even I've worried about this, and I'm teaching my kid to color inside the lines. Not exactly rocket science, but I've still worried that I will be so much less qualified to teach my kids than the preschool teacher down the road that it's led to serious self-doubt.

Solution: It's simple math. Maybe I'm only half as qualified to teach my kid as a real teacher would be, but he wouldn't just get a real teacher if I sent him to school. He'd get 1/30th of a real teacher or at best 1/15th. The fact that I can give him my full attention is worth way more than a few education classes, IMHO. And if you're worried about a lack of experience, remember that you've lived with this kid for years, since the day he was born. This experience makes you uniquely qualified to understand your child and how he learns.

Obstacles. You will fight with your cranky kid all day, only to realize just after five o'clock when the doctor's office is closed that he has a fever and an ear infection. You'll puke non-stop for five months with extreme morning sickness. Your friends and relatives will stop by the house unannounced in the middle of the day. Daddy will have an unexpected afternoon free and want to do something fun.

 The Solution: (Insert expletive) happens. It's not the end of the world. Having a rough day, or week, or even a few months of chaos does not mean you are failing. In regular school there are sick days and holidays, teachers who take breaks by showing movies, time spent lining up and walking around, waiting for everyone to sit down and shut up, and countless instances of busy work or working above or below the child's current abilities. In other words, you can afford to have hiccups in the routine and still get more done than in a classroom. Don't feel bad about needing breaks or unexpected distractions. Shake it off and begin again!

Problem Solved: How the crib tent saved our marriage

Ok, my title was a little dramatic. But seriously, Greg and I hadn't slept through the night in two months. Oh yeah, and Henry was also ridiculously cranky from his little nighttime romps.

If you are debating whether or not to get a crib tent for your tall or climb-y baby, stop. Just get one, I swear my son is not being abused by using this device.

Homeschool 2012/2013

I've been spending way more time than necessary obsessing over what to do with Henry this year. He will be three in November and we've decided to start having a more planned-out routine for him during the week. Basically our plans consist of a Calendar Time every morning, weekly Bible Stories, verses, and songs, a poem each week, various crafts for fine motor skills, pre-writing practice, whatever steps he is ready for as far as reading goes, and Greg will introduce a math program when we feel he is ready.

I'm loosely following the curriculum set up by ABC Jesus Loves Me. Henry has already known the alphabet and sounds, numbers, shapes, colors, etc. for a while now, but the Bible stories schedule is good, and I'm working on simple themes to go along with each month.

I just ordered this crasian math program for Henry and Greg to do together. It's for older kids, so we'll see how it goes.

I also ordered all five sets of Bob books and the BOB Books: Sight Words: Kindergarten Henry has the pre-reader set and absolutely loves them.

Postponed!

As you might have noticed, I haven't posted much on this blog. My plans to do a little tot schooling with Henry this year got side tracked when we decided to move into a small apartment with Henry's aunt, uncle, and cousin, and when I realized I would have a difficult pregnancy. Despite completely neglecting to try and teach Henry anything for the past few months, he has excelled.

He now sounds out three letter words (when he is in the mood) and makes faces out of everything. He's talking a lot more clearly and can draw a recognizable face or body! He loves play doh toys and his train table, and is more interested in smaller board books that he can "read" himself than the longer books he used to like.

I still haven't tried potty training. Originally I thought we'd wait until our last move in Feb./March to start, but now I'm thinking I'll just wait and take my cues from him. I feel like the later I put it off in this case the easier it will be.

After being obsessed with Daddy for months, Henry is now in a mommy phase where he prefers me, especially if he is sick or upset. I have to say, I kind of miss the daddy's boy! But it is nice to know he likes me too :)

Homeschool Plan for the '11-'12 School Year Continued

I decided to use monthly or twice monthly themes to make Henry's learning more fun. Right now I'm looking for books, games, puzzles, toys, and items for the sensory bins to use with these themes. As a practice run I made a sensory bin for July and am working on a beach-themed bin for August. I will try to take Henry on some kind of trip at least once a month and I feel like the themes are a great way to tie it all together. Here is a tentative list of the themes I'm going to use next year:

- Apples
- Farm
- Trains
- Halloween
- Autumn Leaves
- The First Thanksgiving
- Christmas
- Snow
- Outer Space
- Valentine's Day
- Vehicles
- St. Patrick's Day (really a green theme)
- Dinosaurs
- Easter
- Growing Seeds
- Zoo Animals
- Bugs
- Around the World
- Rainbows/Weather

Homeschool Plan for the '11-'12 School Year

This year is going to be incredibly busy and tight financially, but I still want to make sure that Henry gets the attention and opportunities that he would have if he were in daycare or preschool.

A couple of months ago I wrote out a list of skills that I wanted to work on this next school year. Many of these were just a shot in the dark, I have no way of knowing which he is capable of or which he will exceed. Since the list was written he's actually picked up some of the skills on his own.

Objectives:
- counting objects 1-20
- potty training (if he is ready, I'm definitely not going to push this)
- phonetic reading of three letter words
- saying please and thank you (started doing this recently)
- learning colors/sorting by color (knows colors, will continue to solidify with games)
- recognizing some sight words if ready
- pouring liquid from one container to another
- setting a table and eating well with utensils
- stringing large wooden beads
- matching lids to jars
- using a dropper to drop liquid
- able to do a Montessori cylinder and stacking blocks puzzles
- matching fabrics of different textures
- identifying animals, babies, group names and sounds
- understanding cold v. hot, big v. small, open v. closed, on v. off, up v. down, in v. out, over v. under and perhaps biggest, smallest, coldest, etc.
- learning to be quiet and listen for a quiet sound
- listening to classical music (one composer per month to build appreciation)
- recognizing basic shapes (pretty good at this now, but has some trouble saying some of them)
- associating words/objects with the first letter sound (great with this)
- obeying simple commands, following directions (especially when it comes to directions like, turn around, it's behind you, etc.)
- drawing a counterclockwise circle
- transferring objects with tongs or large tweezers
- sweeping with a tiny broom/dustpan, wiping up spills, tidying up toys
- making own bed
- gross motor skills (tbd)
- naming clothing, ability to put on and take off some clothes

As far as what each day will look like we'll have to see how it goes. I am planning on "doing school" either three or four days a week depending on our schedule. Right now I'm thinking we will continue to start with the calendar time, then do a Bible story and possibly something crafty to go along with it. Then one to three other learning activities, some outside time, a little music while we play, and that's it.

I'm planning to have a new theme every two weeks, but can adjust to a new theme once a month if we need to. For September the themes I picked are "Apples" and "Farm", mainly because I was able to collect some books at a used book fair and good will. I also think it will be fun, easy and cheap to go to an apple picking place or farm for a field trip.

Summa' Time

We've been pretty laid back this summer. Most days Henry and I read books in the air conditioning and go for long walks early in the morning before it gets too hot. When Daddy gets home he takes Henry to the beach and if the water is gentle they swim in the ocean. Henry is absolutely obsessed with Thomas the train right now and will play with his little track forever. I think a Thomas themed birthday party is in the works for November!

On the learning front we are also being lazy. I made a simple calendar and each morning we talk about what day of the week it is (I figured we would start out simple). We sing the days of the week song:

(to the tune of the Adam's family theme song)

Days of the week, snap, snap
Days of the week, snap, snap
Days of the week, days of the week, days of the week, snap, snap

There's Sunday and there's Monday,
there's Tuesday and there's Wednesday,
there's Thursday and there's Friday,
and then there's Saturday.

Days of the week, snap, snap
Days of the week, snap, snap
Days of the week, days of the week, days of the week, snap, snap

We sing a few other songs and talk about what we did yesterday and what we will do today and tomorrow.

A few times a week I bring out his sensory bin. This one is fourth of July themed. The bin for August is a beach theme and I've collected all of the stuff but haven't put it together yet. I'm not sure if it has more to do with his own development or if the sensory bin is working but I've seen the biggest change in his fine motor skills this summer. He also plays with puzzles every day so that might be helping too. We usually do Starfall at night a couple of nights a week.

He still knows all of his letters and can count to 20, he usually speaks in two or three word sentences but sometimes uses longer ones. He is climbing like a maniac, and we had to get him a toddler bed after he got out of the crib. (Notice I said got out and not fell out, he actually maneuvered himself out pretty well, but we didn't want to risk it.) He still generally ignores other babies but likes to play near older kids.

Next up: my plans for next year!